Okay, so time for the pity party - yikes. It's not even that the work is hard because it isn't because we are so spoiled here. It's really just who I'm working with; which is awkward.
Sister Broadbent and I do not have the same work level or tenacity or like even ethic. Her "I'm working hard" is a lot less than my "I'm working hard" and straight up I feel like I haven't even worked very hard since I've been here.
Sooooo as I was telling you, when I got locked out because she couldn't even run half a mile without dying... that annoyed me and I had a hard time being patient. And trust me I am praying for patience 24/7. When she is peeing I am on my knees praying for patience and love toward her. And I serve her all the time. She takes a full hour and a half to get ready and I take a full 20 minutes so because she takes so long I make her breakfast and pack her lunch because if I don't then we will be late.
Anyways, so that day when she literally ran less than half of a mile and then said she was tasting blood. And then she was napping while I was showering which is nothing new. But then the thing is when I go to wake her up she's like "I'm sick." And I'm so triggered at this point. Because she is talking about how her stomach hurts and how her throat hurts and her head hurts and she can't go to the Square... which means I can't go to the Square. I'm trying to be calm and I'm like it's okay you need to feel better (blah blah blah) so I call all the necessary people. She then sleeps for no joke seven hours. And then she wakes up and feels absolutely fine. She wasn't sick and I know that for a fact she was just tired and she has zero tolerance for being uncomfortable.
Can you tell that I'm having a hard time right now? She is then like "oh I'm slightly anemic so that's why I get tired so easy blah blah" and I'm thinking GIRL SO AM I, FIGHT ME, I STILL DO MISSIONARY WORK. And this leads me to what I find very frustrating. She has to take a nap every day. For reals. We have this thing called the blue room where there are couches to sleep if you need to (I know we're so spoiled and I hate it). We are supposed to be good about not using them too much but she every day during planning is like "I'm really tired today I'm going to need a nap" and I'm just thinking "ugh, you say that every day" but of course I dont actually say that, instead I'm like oh okay no problem but on the inside I can barely keep it together. I'm going to bring it up in our companionship inventory and just tell her look, I get that you get tired but we take too many naps. And I dont even nap with her. I do studies and then pray for more patience. So I'm going to try and get her to one nap a week. Its ridicilulous. I'm having a hard time in case you can't tell.
Like I said, at least once a day, I just get sad and think "wow I have to be here for 18 months" but it's all good because I have a lot of fun and still do missionary work but sometimes I get down. I'm working on being more positive and its halfway working.
Next week is the end of the transfer and I just want a new companion. Like I really, really do. Badly. I feel like I could be more effective with a new companion who is more my speed. But I'm not going to get one because I need to learn to be patient and all that jazz so I will be with Sister Broadbent for another 7 weeks. Wow, it just really hit me that that is true. At least we're almost halfway done with training and then I can be free and work more my pace.
With all of that being said, Sister Broadbent is a really good person. She hates talking to people but knows I love it so she let's me pick up extra shifts so I can talk to more people and she's taught me to love TC more so I'm grateful for that. Also, she really does try hard to keep up so I feel bad but at the same time I'm trying to feel like I did everything I could at the end of my year and a half and if the trend continues I'm going to walk off the plane unsatisfied.
Any suggestions on how I could love her more and have more patience? Any suggestions on how I could nicely get us to work harder? I'd love to hear everything you have because I'm desperate.
This week has been exciting though besides all that. My roomie sister Khumphramueang from Thailand, along with a bunch of other sisters here got their outbound calls!!! I'm excited for when it is my turn to go outbound. We had our zone activity today and it was minute to win it games which was fun! I mostly just liked the side games of volleyball, soccer, and basketball that we played when not everyone could participate in one of the games. I got competitive, you know me but I'm working on not being competitive because of the white handbook and I did my best to not care and be like oh it's for fun. My best isn't perfect but hey we're getting there.
Sorry for crying so much on the phone. I don't think I realized how bad I've been feeling till I saw you guys and just lost it all. It helps writing it all down though.
Please pray for me because I need it with the companion. And the work is good. We have a good pool of about 10 that we are teaching online and a few are showing really good progress and two even expressed a desire to be baptized which is what I love to hear.
I love you guys so much and I miss you a lot. I'm so glad we can call. Its nice just to talk about random stuff with all of you because it makes me feel more normal and part of the family. Talk to you next tuesday!!!
Love,
Em
********************
Hey Everyone!
This week wasn't too eventful but still, some cool stuff happened!
First of all, there was this one day where I was just off my game. Like I was being awkward and I kept introducing myself as Emily and not as Sister Moran (that probably happened because for everything online I have to go by Emily and we do a lot of teaching online), and I kept being awkward with my... well with my everything. But it be like that sometimes so that's cool.
But later that same day, we were doing some online teaching and I just took some random calls and two random people like within two minutes of me talking to them were like "I want to be baptized". I was shook. And I was just kind of stunned and I was still in my awkward phase and I said to one of them "well we can definitely do that for you my man" and then I cringed for like five minutes straight at myself. Anyways, I think it was a tender mercy because I was having a rough day. I know that Heavenly Father really loves us and cares about us and knows when we are having a bad day and will bless us for our efforts:)
I talked to a really interesting person on the Square this week! It was this guy with a sick beard in his thirties. We were talking to him and at first I just thought that he was strange and then I realized that he was on drugs. No jokes he was so high. I have never seen someone that far gone. Well, I almost got him to take a Book of Mormon but he handed it back and then two seconds later he looked down at his hands and was like "where did the book go?! It just disappeared!" So I was like "oh no it's right here don't worry" but he was spooked after that and he left. I can't blame him though, I would be spooked too if the Book of Mormon just poofed out of my hands;)
Well, I love and miss you all! I love to hear from you so send me an email and I'll respond as soon as I can!
Sister Moran
p.s. MADISON MY BEAUTIFUL OLDER SISTER CAME TO VISIT and it made my week!
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